How many times have you set goals to get your life in order and then failed to complete them? Why is that?
Often times, I find myself wanting to improve in certain roles while finding control to where it’s not overwhelming. However, once we try to stretch ourselves to change, we eventually withdraw back into the comfort familiarity of what we’re used to. Trial after trial brings despair because of our “failure” and we are subject to continue living the life we wish would change. I have been determined to figure out how to get out of this vicious cycle and have found 8 steps that bring the results so many seek after:
1. Fight for it
Right now, you’re probably saying “duh, that’s why I’m here! I’ve been fighting too long for it!” And yes, you’re right! In a way. A definition to be considered when we think of the word “fight” is that we need to struggle to get what we want/need. A lot of the times, we think we’re “fighting” against time or priorities to get these desired outcomes, when in reality, after the first time of being confronted with an obstacle, we give up. Allow yourself to struggle. Struggling is often what makes the end result even more worth it.
2. Be engaged in the moment
We’re busy people with SO many expectations to live up to. Spouse, parent, employee, leader, etc. (to name a few). Have you ever found yourself coming home from work to family or a roommate (whoever it may be) but unable to focus on or listen to them talk about their day because your thoughts are pre-occupied with that big project that’s due at the beginning of next week? And then you’re in the office, unable to concentrate because all you can think about is how much your three-year-old wanted you to read them a bed time story last night but you couldn’t because your energy was exhausted by that stress of thinking about work.
Trying to fulfill multiple roles at the same time is exhausting and doesn’t work. Humans aren’t all that great at multi-tasking, even if you think you might be an exception to that. We can’t do it! It’s important to know this so we can instead focus on making the most of the moment we’re currently in. Being an employee/boss when we’re at work and being a spouse/parent/friend when we’re at home.
This can’t be attainable every moment of our life because we will of course will have those moments where roles and responsibilities collide, or certain situations create priorities. Overall, living this way will not only help us find balance with everything we’re trying to juggle, but also excel in those moments.
3. Tailor your plan to YOU
Some people can have school, work, and a party all happen in the same day and function perfectly fine, where others call it a full day when the only thing they have scheduled is a doctor’s appointment at 3:00 in the afternoon. Everyone is different, so the same plan won’t work for everyone. If you don’t already, get to know yourself and what you can and can’t handle. From there, you’ll know how to tailor a custom plan that you’ll actually be able to follow instead of “falling short” from what other people might call their “minimum”.
4. Write it (^) down
When you have a plan, it’s critical to write it down! If not, you’ll most likely forget what you need to do. Simple as that.
5. Change the way you look at “failure”
I used to look at my stress levels as a weakness. To me, it showed that I couldn’t handle simple tasks and would freak out if even the smallest thing was given to me to do. Now, I see it as a strength. Instead of being hard on myself when I start stressing, I use my stress as a tool to help me get things done and do my best.
What tendencies do you have that you maybe see as “weaknesses” or “failures”? How can you use them as strengths?
When you “fail” to achieve balance in your life, take it as a learning opportunity to improve next time!
6. Sacrifice and prioritize
This goes along with fighting for balance as you need to struggle to let go of things holding you back and organize your priorities that will then allow you to be able to move forward with your goal of achieving balance in your life.
As hard as it is to make sacrifices, it’s often (if not always) necessary to progress.
7. Focus on baby steps
The little things you do on a daily basis will often make the biggest differences. Even if you’re just spending 5 minutes a day cleaning the house when you never used to, it will build up over time, especially as this creates habits. And habits are so powerful!!
Along with making baby steps of progress, celebrate them! Pat yourself on the back for cleaning the microwave that day, even if it’s only thing you did clean.
8. Rely on God
This is the most important step of all of them. Your relationship with God, communication with Him, and trust in Him is what’s really going to make the difference. He’s the one that’s going to get you where you need to go. He has the power to do anything, not to mention the tremendous amount of love He has for you. Lean into Him and miracles will happen.
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